The Importance of Being Selfish

Sunday, 5 October 2014

Selfishness is more often than not associated with being a negative trait. I mean, who likes people who put themselves first? People who are renowned for being selfish are undoubtedly branded as the bad guys when in fact, they're actually one step ahead. Just to clarify, I'm not talking about being selfish in the absolute, excessive and most literal sense of the word, I'm talking about thinking about what you want and doing what you want. Making conscious decisions on a daily basis means that there is zero time for taking paths that other people want you to take because realistically, what's the point in that? Being completely and utterly selfless is bound to restrict you in some way shape or form, but if you drop your guard and unleash your selfish side from time to time, you'll find that it can actually be a very empowering and rewarding experience to indulge in.

The majority of the time, the core reason we tend to be a little more selfless than we should is because we feel a sense of guilt. Nobody likes to let people down, disappoint or break promises but when is enough, really enough? In a way, being selfless makes you vulnerable because people know they can rely on you which is of course a great quality to hold, until it hits full force and you're being pulled in a million different directions apart from the one direction you want to go in. If you feel like you're being swallowed into a place where you're not happy and content with your decisions, get the hell out. You, and only you have control over your mind, your decisions and your life, so why would you let someone take that away from you? I'm all for compromises and looking after the people closest to you, but first thing's first - be totally selfish and make sure you're happy.

If you're content with helping others and are happy to push your own personal happiness into the background then so be it, but when being selfless puts you on a track that's not leading to your own personal fulfillment and happiness, it's time for a change. It's difficult because when we're accused of being selfish our defense mechanism kicks in and we apologise. But what are we apologising for exactly? For making the decisions that are right for us? For putting ourselves first? For being happy? Because that's certainly nothing to feel obliged to apologise for, so long as you're not dragging other people down in the process. It's quite daunting that the simple connotations of a word have the power to make us question our own morals and beliefs when in fact, you shouldn't feel the need to have to sacrifice yourself purely to be worthy of people's acceptance and praise.

Surely if you focus on your own happiness first, you'll be better equipped to help and guide others around you, because you certainly can't do that if you struggle to define your own happiness. Please, have the confidence, ambition and drive to make your own happiness your main priority and don't stop until you reach your full potential. It's important to recognise your ability to be selfish but it's also key to recognise that you can't be truly happy if you only care about yourself at the expense of other people. Life is about balance, remember, and sometimes you have to be selfish to be selfless. Don't feel guilty. Don't feel obliged to put everyone else first all the time. It's okay to be selfish sometimes. If you need a selfish period in your life to truly figure out who you are, want you want and how to achieve it, then surely being selfish really can't be that much of a bad thing.

6 comments:

  1. You have made a few very good points. Love this post!

    Hannah Rose Williams

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  2. Such an interesting post and I agree with what you're saying, it's all well and good to constantly be making other happy but you can't put their needs ahead of your own if it's going to be to your detriment. It's all about balance, like anything in life. Great post!
    Raffles Bizarre Blog

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    1. It's exactly that - there's no point making other people happy if you're not doing what makes you happy in the process X

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  3. I love this post, finally found someone that agrees with me that sometimes being selfish is necessary! More people need to learn that doing things for themselves is actually okay!

    Francesca xo | www.effstatbeauty.blogspot.com

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    1. Thanks Francesca! Absolutely - so many people feel guilty for being selfish but if we did it more often I'm sure the majority of us would be a hell of a lot happier x

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