What You Think VS What You Do

Sunday, 3 August 2014

The barrier between your thoughts and your actions is a funny little thing. How many times have you thought something outrageous in your head, but refrained from saying it because of how people would react? Obviously you get the people few and far between who lack this thought process, but the majority of us have some kind of checklist in our heads that we scan over before actually saying or doing something which might cause offence to others. Or might just be totally socially unacceptable. Take the tube for example. I wouldn't be able to count on my hands and toes the amount of times I've cursed at people in my head because they're in my way or holding up the queue. But would I really tell them to get the fuck out of my way? No. Why? Because it's rude. And unnecessary. But it's totally okay to think that.

I know actions speak louder than words, but what about the thoughts behind them? It's a little concerning that with this becoming a common occurrence, people could be thinking all sorts and keeping quiet just to spare your feelings. It's different with family and friends than it is with strangers, but it's intriguing that our mind lets us think all these things that we have absolutely no intention of sharing. Ever. There's no way I'd tell the woman walking in the opposite direction down the street that her hair looks crappy. And there's no way I'd tell the man next to me on the tube to stop making eye contact with me because it's creepy. I'd simply look away and let those thought loose around my mind, not out of my mouth. That's the main trait that sets the nice people apart from the nasty. Some people will drag others down to boost themselves up. And some people will keep it locked inside their kind minds forever.

We shouldn't feel bad for feeling angry or frustrated or having an opinion. We're human. I don't think there's any issue with thinking these things as long as we don't begin to think that saying every single thing that pops into our heads is okay. We have a thought pattern for a reason, and I think it's something that we need to utilise. But I do think our personalities and our morals define to what extent we project our thoughts into words and actions. Sometimes I'll mull something over in my head to find the most polite way to say it, which instantly tells me that saying exactly what's on my mind would be a bad idea. But why are we so scared of speaking the truth? Verbally abusing a stranger over something completely insignificant and irrelevant is one thing, but why aren't we more honest and upfront with the people closest to us? Surely it's better to say what's on your mind than to sugar coat it and complicate things.

As the saying goes, those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. So why don't we think about this before treading on eggshells and in effect, avoiding a situation because there's the potential to offend someone. I'm not saying start ranting the minute someone does something that annoys you. But think about it, be rational and say exactly what's bothering you. If you're not honest, things have no opportunity to improve or progress. If you think someone's been unfair or sly, tell them. We're all guilty of leaving out details to refrain from hurting someone's feelings. But if you keep it in, then you're only hurting yourself. Your verbal output is important and the scary thing is, is that once you've said it, it's out there. You can't take it back. You and you only are responsible for what you say. So make sure your words are worth it. And after all, if you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all.

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