Stop Looking For Love, It's Not a Treasure Hunt

Sunday, 27 July 2014

Love is, or should be, a natural and progressive journey, right? So why are so many people looking for it as if it's a lost sock. The L word is thrown around like it's going out of fashion, and to top it, people actually feel the need to go out consciously looking for love. I'm not talking about the more mature lady or gentlemen who is ready to settle down and get serious. I'm talking about young people. Young people who should be out there having the time of their lives, making mistakes, going on adventures and having fun. We're living in a culture where people are becoming so obsessed by finding the one, they're practically wishing away their freedom and the opportunity to be selfish.  I mean, what happened to being content and happy within yourself before letting anyone else into your life? There's no harm in loving yourself before loving someone else, you know. Be all Carrie Bradshaw about it.

It's a given that everyone's different, and I get that some people don't feel complete without somebody else by their side, but I truly believe that you can't be happy with someone else until you're happy with yourself. When there comes a time when you are content and feel at ease with where you're at in life, someone may well come and sweep you off your feet. But until then, stop looking. It'll happen when you expect it least, when you're so happy with being single and finally feel like you've got your life in order, which is why I can't comprehend people who go seeking a relationship. I'm not talking about chatting someone up in a club or going on a date, I'm talking about the people who bang on about wanting a boyfriend or a girlfriend on social media. Like, seriously? I know the idea might be nice, but being with someone involves commitment. And commitment isn't something which should be handled lightly.

I'm not knocking people who are in relationships at a young age. If you love someone and you're happy then age is irrelevant. But sometimes people panic because they're alone. There's nothing wrong with being alone, though. If you can learn to enjoy your own company and appreciate the people around you, it'll be even more precious when you're in the company of somebody you adore. Don't be afraid to be strong. Don't be afraid to be independent. And don't be afraid to be alone. If all your friends are in relationships, don't feel pressured or forced into finding someone just because you're the odd one out, so to speak. You don't need somebody else to complete you. You don't need to depend on someone else. Fall in love with yourself first. The sooner you accept that, the happier you'll be. Don't get hung up on the fact you're going solo, learn to love being single, not loathe it. Because it can be a whole lot of fun.

I'm all for relationships and finding someone who makes you happy, but it should happen naturally with someone who is right for you, when the time is right. Don't force it. With over seven billion people in the world, it might take a lot of broken hearts and tears to find your perfect match. So why not enjoy being single and care-free. Be wild, be adventurous and be selfish. Indulge in you and focus on what you want. Treasure the time that you can spend solely on yourself, because when you do commit to someone else, you have to be prepared for a little give and take. Take time to find out who you are first, and love later. Indulge in spontaneity and live a little. There's plenty of time to fall in love. Travel, explore, smile, laugh, learn. Don't wallow in self pity that nobody wants you. Because they do. They just haven't found you yet.


  1. You don't fall in love by looking for it, or where/when you'd expect. I met my boyfriend when I was 17 (7 years ago!) and was SO not looking for love. I had no intention of getting a boyfriend, with uni only a year away, but it happened and next year we'll be married. There's no right or wrong time, but you certainly can't force it (*sings* you can't hurry love!). xx

    1. Completely agree! I can't wait until you get married I hope to see lots of pics - I bet it'll be beautiful x